Saturday, May 26, 2012

A Zombie Proof Hideout - Electrical Substation


The first in our series exploring the various possible places in which to seek shelter during the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse starts with a lesser mentioned 'Zombie Fortress'... the humble and often unnoticed Electrical Substation.

You are bound to have one of these mini blockhouses within walking (well, running) distance of where you live, they are dotted everywhere especially in urban areas. They are perfect locations for waiting out a zombie plague having been purposely designed to keep people out, usually surrounded by 6+ foot metal spike topped fencing but sometimes barbed wire topped brick or concrete wall and even rarer built underground or into hillsides. Unfortunately therein lies the first obstacle: getting yourself over the fence or wall and inside the compound. But that isn't the purpose of this article, and every situation would be different so you'll have to figure that out yourself, use your imagination.

The actual buildings themselves are always thick walled and windowless (so no zombie entry points to board up) structures with reinforced metal doors. Getting the reinforced metal doors open and gaining entry is the second obstacle (again that's down to you) but once inside you would have a very safe base from which to gather supplies and in which to safely hunker down with a modicum of security. One of the biggest killers in a zombie outbreak would be sheer lack of sleep through feeling the need to be permanently on your guard, once inside one of these buildings you'd be pretty much zombie proof and free to enjoy plenty of sleep.

With the doors closed you could also sit quite happily under candle light given that there are no windows, and would probably be able to speak at normal talking volume to any companions or imaginary friends due to the thickness of the walls and doors. Although I personally would still keep communication down to whispers, it's safe to say it would be difficult to ascertain the hearing capabilities of reanimated corpses and I honestly wouldn't like to be the one to test it.

You would have not only the enclosed compound but also the building itself, so that's two levels of protection plus many electrical substations have roof hatches and secondary doors. So, should things go very wrong (zombies pile themselves at the fence like a ramp) you would have options and routes to haul ass and attempt to move to another location... it goes without saying ALWAYS have an escape plan.

So there we have it, the electrical substation, a veritable neighborhood zombie proof fortress... make sure you know where your nearest one is.

Note to any kids or idiots reading this who think it would be a good idea to get into one of these places when there ISN'T a Zombie Apocalypse in progress... Don't. They are very dangerous places, with high voltages likely to kill you stone dead if you're that idiotic enough to creep inside to poke around.